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Compatibility (Gundam Wing)

Fandom: Gundam Wing
Title: Compatibility
Word Count: 600
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Through about episode 35

Synopsis: Heero's first flight.

Note: Part five of a series, but they can be read in any order.

Part I: Coalescence. Quatre has a very close relationship with Sandrock. (Spoilers through episode 40.)

Part II: Connection. It wasn't the first time Trowa had held Heero's life in his hands. (Spoilers through episode 21.)

Part III: Cookies. Heero needs his own personal therapist; Duo gives it a shot. (Spoilers through episode 9.)

Part IV: Cold. Heero and Quatre consider outer space. (Spoilers through episode 25.)



I’ve tried to analyze you, I’ve tried to research you, and of course I’ve tried to hack you, but I always knew it would come down to this. So here I am, back in the pilot’s seat. There’s our enemy, twenty mobile dolls. Here’s your self-detonator, six inches from my right hand. Dr. J. designed me more for strength than speed, but I’m still faster than any normal human. If I become a danger to civilians, all I need is the merest instant of sanity and believe me, I’ll hit that button.

Do you want that, Zero? If you do, I understand.

I remember when we first met. You uploaded everything you had into my mind: every physical detail of the battlefield down to the chemical composition of the dust on the floor, sound ranging from radio waves to the clicking of Dr. J.’s fingers, sight into ultraviolet and infrared, scenes from my own memories playing out as vividly as if I had traveled back in time, and an infinity of future visions that might spring from the battle: my death, Quatre’s death, world peace forever, Earth destroyed, colonies laid waste, Quatre forcing himself into my mind to stop me, each one multiplied millions of times as they branched out from every possible variation on every possible action. All that and more, in less than a second.

Normally when I fight my focus narrows. With you, it expanded. Every sound I heard was a siren shrieking warning of an imminent attack, and every flicker of movement was a lunge for my throat. I couldn’t distinguish between friend and foe, neutral input and imminent threat, or possible futures, current events, or memories. I saw everything, I knew everything, and everyone was going to kill me if I didn’t kill them first.

Dr. J. must not have believed I could master you, or he would have built you first and given you to me. But the only way to learn how wield a weapon is to fight with it.

I’m here. Teach me.

Activating Zero system.

0.01 seconds.

Danger…!

Right… no, left! Left!


0.02 seconds.

Smell of burning oil…

The enemy is
there.

0.03 seconds.

It’s firing on the colony! I can't stop!

Danger…!

Where are my hands?


0.04 seconds.

Kill the enemy. You’re all the enemy.

0.05 seconds.

Blood in my mouth.

I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe!


0.06 seconds.

How did Duo get here?

He’s dead. They're all dead, and I killed them.


0.07 seconds.

I’m losing my mind.

0.08 seconds.

Fire at the movement. Fire at the movement.

0.09 seconds.

I’ve been here before.

0.10 seconds.

Fear, panic, tension, rage, despair – I know these feelings.

Every sound, every sight the first warning of terrible danger – I know this.


0.11 seconds.

I know you, Zero.

You are me. I am you.

Show me the enemy.


16.03 seconds.

Battle concluded.

Every night I can’t sleep for fear of what I’ll dream, lying there with visions of everything that ever has and ever could go wrong playing out in color and sound, and I can’t shut them out when my eyes are already closed – every day I’m wound so tight that a bead of spilled coffee floating past in zero gee is a bullet I have to dodge, and Duo will never know how hard it was to stop myself from breaking his neck on reflex when he slapped me on the back – every nightmare, every fear, every desperate calculation of probabilities, every moment of paranoia, every impulse to grab for a weapon –

That’s what it feels like in your cockpit. Your system isn’t alien at all, it’s just a speeded-up version of what it’s like to be me. And if I can pilot my own body and mind, I can pilot you.

Dr. J. didn’t build you for me. But I do wonder if he built me for you.

40.02 seconds.

Powering down.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
rilina
Mar. 6th, 2008 09:36 pm (UTC)
Dr. J. didn’t build you for me. But I do wonder if he built me for you.

This is a killer ending.

Also, you are a goddess among women for producing 3 fics in response to my whining!
free_the_goats
Mar. 7th, 2008 03:41 am (UTC)
Very much Heero, yes.
(Anonymous)
Jun. 23rd, 2008 05:45 pm (UTC)
pt. 4's link doesn't work; plz fix?? looking forward to reading it!
rachelmanija
Jun. 23rd, 2008 05:51 pm (UTC)
I'll fix it later, but for now you can find all the stories by clicking on the "Gundam Wing" tag or looking in my memories.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )